Saturday, August 29, 2009

Brown Bag #3

Hello! It’s 4:30 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? I have no idea. I slept for 3 hours and for some reason my body felt as though that’s enough for me. So, here I am… wide awake in the middle of the night. Writing you another brown bag. I’m beginning to think that this is when God speaks to me the most. Or maybe it’s just that I’ve finally shut up long enough to hear Him talking to me. Either way, you reap the benefits. Or face the punishment. However you wish to view it.

I’m not sure I have a whole lot of wisdom for yall today. Case in point… I just said “yall”. I want to share with you, some things that have been going on here in Salt Lake City. Hopefully you can see that God is moving here… because I assure you- He is!

I have been on the field for 106 days. WOW! In some ways it feels like one day… other times it feels like I’ve been here forever. Ok let me tell you a little about my church. My church family is the Murray Park Church of Christ in Murray, Utah. It’s the first little suburb of the Salt Lake Valley. Murray Park Church of Christ, or Murray Church, as we affectionately call it, is a church plant made up of around 90 people. Including our Spanish- speaking congregation. Murray church is a very interesting and kind of different congregation. We’re very hodge podge. The church body is comprised of recovering drug addicts, former gang members, chemists, nuclear pharmacists, people coming out of homelessness, and some former Mormons. I told we were different. My first Sunday at Murray church I was just kind of still and quiet (shocker, I know). I wanted to take it all in. Immediately, I felt this transparency. Everyone is completely open with one another. Good, bad, or indifferent; they’re honest. It didn’t feel stuffy, or overly “churchy”. I was super impressed. Then, I was exploring around our church building one day and looked in our baptistery, and much to my surprise and excitement, there were RUBBER DUCKS! That’s right, folks. Rubber ducks in our baptistery. How awesome is that? I brought it up to someone in the church and they started laughing and said “I guess you could say we don’t take ourselves very seriously. Bill Baker put those in there.” Bill Baker is a man in his 60’s. He owns and runs a nuclear pharmacy here in the Salt Lake valley.

Oddly enough, when I saw the rubber ducks, I knew I’d fit in. I think the reason we all fit in, is because no one fits in! We’re just… family. They are the most encouraging, evangelistic, supportive family I’ve ever been a part of. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blissfully ignorant. We have our problems. But what family doesn’t? We put the “FUN” in dysfunctional. The first few weeks we were there they would pray “Lord please bless THE AIMers in their efforts.” Just a few weeks ago, Bill got up to lead the closing prayer and said “Lord, please bless OUR AIMers.” I never thought one possessive word could mean so much. That means we’re part of them! I’m so glad I’m here, and couldn’t ask for a better support system. I’m going to be completely honest with you. I’m hurting. I’m so incredibly homesick it’s not even funny. This last week was especially hard. I know it’s normal, but when you’re going through it, you don’t think about what’s “normal”. However, I know I’ll be ok, because I can open up to my Murray church family and lean on them.

Bill has all these catchy little sayings, so I’ll wrap this up with one from him. “We need to be fishers of men… not keepers of the aquarium.” Basically that means get out there and spread the word of God. Don’t keep it to yourself!

Keep on truckin, kids,
Sarah Beth

SHOUT OUTS!
Nik-I’ve cleaned up your puke… and seen you in a hospital gown. I believe that means we’ve officially bonded.

Isaac- you are absolutely hilarious. Thanks for accepting my ridiculousness, and returning it.

Kris- I’m still being tough. Thanks for believing in me.

Patrick- Hey man. I really miss your Luke class.

Lily- My fish is still alive, and according to beta facts.com he’s happy!

Jacob Samuel Adolf Esteban Norwood- haha. I got all your names in there. I left off your REAL last name, though. Thanks for consistently making laugh almost to the point of hyperventilation.

Trevor Thomspon- Hey! I miss you! A LOT!

Valerie- hey girlie. I’m so glad you’re in this class. You’re going to do amazing things for Jesus.

Princeton- you talk fancy. I enjoy it.

Logan- Oh my goodness. I miss you so much. I hope you’re doing well.

Ok I can’t write anymore or they won’t read it! Goodnight and good luck, folks.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Unrequited Love

So This was on my old Blog and I wanted to post it here.

I've been thinking (shocker, I know) and I feel, there's something to be said for unrequited love. Nope, I'm not a masochist...or a glutton for punishment. I'm simply an optimistic, hopeless romantic looking for the silver lining in an otherwise stormy cloud.

No need to grab your handy dandy pocket sized giant print Webster's English dictionary from your purse... (what? not everyone has one of those?....Oh) Anywho, here's the definition of "Unrequited":
1.not returned or reciprocated: unrequited love.


PERFECT! Thanks, dictionary.com! :)


As I was saying....wait...what was I saying? Oh, right...unrequited love blah blah blah.


I read a quote on N's facebook about unrequited love. It's from the movie "The Holiday".


"It's called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!" -- Iris, The Holiday



So naturally, after I read this quote, I watched the movie. It's adorable. Totally sweet and mushy...But I digress.



Iris, the author of the aformentioned quote, pretty much hit the nail on the head. Falling in love alone...walking wounded...yadda yadda yadda. So true!



I think that unrequited love has the potential to be one of the most pure kinds of love there is. It's real, and it's scary and it's passionate. All of these characteristics add up to a seemingly dangerous combo...and it is. But anything worth having involves a risk. When you can't sleep because you know that you're going to see them the next day and all you can think about is how to greet them so you don't sound like an idiot...it may be love. If it involves all of that and you TELL the apple of your eye...the object of your affection....the wind beneath your wings (and all those other nauseating cliches ) how you feel and they just can't seem to reciprocate the feelings....It's unrequited.



You sit...brokenhearted...void of any feeling except that lump forming in your throat because you want to cry. But you know that if you start, the tears won't stop and you have business to take care of so you push the tears back, and fight off that feeling for at least one more moment.



Now poses the question... What happens when you give your heart to someone who doesn't want it? (These things don't come with gift receipts, ya know). WHY do we give away our hearts if we're not sure they can be returned? More importantly...What do we do with the tiny pieces of our hearts left on the ground after being ripped to shreds by the carnivorous beast called heartbreak, we once thought was timid, sweet, love? You pick up the pieces and weld them back together....and respect the love for the purity of what it was. For even if not returned, the love you had for that person is sweet, and beautiful...and won't ever leave your memory.

Funny thing about breaks, and mends...Did you know that if something breaks and is welded back together...the STRONGEST point on that object is now on the weld? Same with bones...if bones are broken and then set in a cast, the bones will then grow back stronger than before. I think hearts work much the same. My heart has been broken innumerable times...not just by romance but by other things as well. Sadness in the world...loss of a loved one...Not being able to say the right things to comfort your VERY BEST friend when they're exasperated and homesick. All of these things add up to LOTS and LOTS of heartache. Maybe I should just give up feeling and I'll save myself some heartache...NOTACHANCE! Even though my heart gets broken, I pick it up, and weld it back together. What do I weld with? Not a soldering iron and solder.... but with prayer, laughter, tears and my Bible. For I know that everytime I weld my heart back together, it gets stronger and stronger.

So you see, unrequited love gets a bad rep... It's not a bad thing. It's a beautiful and meaningful thing. It's going to hurt...and you'll cry...and cry...AND CRY (at least if you're me). But I encourage you, friends, to pick up your heart and weld it back together. Because with every heartache comes growth and strength. When you feel like you can't possibly take any more heartache or you'll be void of all emotion forever? That's when the growing happens. Take the risk... Love...for even if unrequited, it's a special thing that's to be cherished forever.

I heard this song a while ago and I really like it. It's called "Broken" by Lindsay Haun
Wake up to a sunny day,
Not a cloud up in the sky
Then it starts to rain.
My defenses hit the ground,
and they shatter all around
So open and exposed
But I find strength in the struggle
Face to face with my trouble

Chorus:When you're broken,
in a million little pieces
And you're trying,
but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken.

Little girl don't be so blue
I know what you're going through
Don't let it beat you up
Hitting walls and getting scars
Only makes you who you are
Only makes you who you are.

No matter how much your heart is aching
There is beauty in the breaking

Yeah(Repeat chorus)

Better days are you gonna find you once again
Every piece will find its place

When you're broken,
when you're broken

(Repeat chorus)
Oh when you're broken
When you're broken
When you're broken

Brown Bag #2

Brown Bag #2
Hey folks! So here I am again… sitting in front of my computer with a cup of coffee; in the middle of the night. Why the middle of the night, you ask? It’s because I am an insomniac. Plus, this is the only time of day where my brain finally calms down long enough to get a few coherent thoughts out. It’s only Friday (well, Saturday, now I guess since it’s the middle of the night) and I’ve decided to write this in advance for three reasons. 1) it’s been on my heart and I want to share. 2) If I don’t get the thoughts out on paper, not only will I not be able to sleep, but they’ll leave my brain too. That would be sad times because it’s not often I have insightful things floating up there in my noodle. And 3) because I really hate sitting still but I just painted my toenails and I’m waiting for the nail polish to dry so I don’t mess it up. But that’s the least important reason.

So you know how when you’re lifting weights they tell you “if it hurts you’re doing it wrong”? … AIM is the opposite. If it hurts, you’re doing it RIGHT. Ministry is about vulnerability. Now, vulnerability is neither something I enjoy, nor, am very good at. Being vulnerable means opening yourself up and leaving the possibility open for someone to hurt you. I didn’t fully understand this concept until I started AIM. Before AIM, I was in college full time and working a full time job. I was a strong, independent girl and didn’t need anyone. Boy was I wrong. Right as I was moving to Lubbock my mom told me that she had a mammogram done and they found something on it that they wanted to biopsy. I was terrified, but didn’t tell any of my classmates right away because I didn’t want people to view me as “weak”. Finally, one night during the first or second week, we were having a prayer devotional in my best friend, and now teammate, Charlie’s apartment. I told my classmates that I was scared for my mom and I completely fell apart. It was both terrifying and liberating. Then, I remember sitting in Pat’s class… unable to fight back tears because I was so scared. I just cried and cried… and Pat was real with me. He let me cry and he cried with me… and I had no choice but to lean on my classmates. That was the first step of vulnerability. I was doing some personal study in Philippians and I wanted God to guide me during my AIM time. While reading Philippians chapter 2, I came across verses 5-7. I love the way my translation reads. It says “make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. Instead He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave…” He EMPTIED himself. That means Jesus gave everything He had until there was nothing left. AND he assumed the form of a slave… he SERVED people. That means He was vulnerable and let people hurt Him. The most obvious examples I can think of are Judas or Peter. Jesus is the Son of God. He TOTALLY knew that Judas was going to betray Him, and He knew Peter would deny Him. Yet, He still let them close. He allowed them to hurt Him. He emptied Himself. If the Son of Man could empty Himself to the point of death, then I can be real and open myself up to people. Battle wounds are ok. Scars heal, and soon that excruciating battle wound is just a dull memory. So, dear AIMers, with heart planted firmly on sleeve, I bid you adieu. I’m praying for you daily, and am so thankful that you’ve made the decision to devote your life to Christ! You won’t regret it- I promise! Until next week, friends.
AIMing to be like Jesus
Sarah Beth

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Brown Bag #1

Ok So I wrote a Brown Bag letter... but it was too long so I had to edit out a lot of the really funny stuff... so I'll post it on here and you are free to view at your leisure. :)

Oh for those who don't know. Brown Bag letters are letters that AIMers on the field can write to the AIM students in their classtime in Lubbock... then they read them during lunch and pray for us... So here's mine.

Dearest Darlingest Newbie AIMers
HOWDY! So my name is Sarah Beth Hall. Yes. My name is actually Sarah Beth… No, my parents aren’t rednecks… oh wait… they are. Shucks. Anywho. I am currently serving our Lord in Salt Lake City, Utah. The COOLEST state side field EVER. First off, I feel weird writing a brown bag. I can’t believe I’ve been in AIM for a year. Secondly, I feel sorry for Kris and Pat because they have to read this ridiculousness. And C, I’m really excited that you’re in Lubbock!

So I remember Kris and Pat reading our first brown bag letters to us… Let me assure that this overwhelmed, excited, heart –in-throat, vomity feeling you have is TOTALLY normal. I’m going to use this brown bag letter to give you some advice and encouragement… I’ll use other brown bags to tell you how God is using us here in SLC… let me assure you… He is! Since lists seem to be the popular thing amongst first brown bags… I’ll continue the trend. Mostly because I have a ridiculous need for organization. My team TOTALLY thinks I have ADHD. But I don’t think I have Attention Deficit Hyp- do you want a waffle?

What was I saying? Oh, right. Advice. Ok. Here goes. Here is a list of some things
you’ll need to know about your class time.

1. Ed Wharton is NOT scary…. If you do your homework and pay attention, you’ll be fine
2. Lily IS scary. Ok not really. She’s amazing. Appreciate her… and tell her you appreciate her
3. STAY ON TOP OF YOUR HOMEWORK. Take it from someone who fell behind first term. It’s easy to fall behind…and really hard to catch up.
4. Ok Boys. Take a look at the girls real quick….. ok that’s enough… now girls.. take a look at the boys… ok that’s enough.. Now…. STOP IT! I know that nothing is more attractive than a Godly young man or woman… but you’re not there to find a significant other. You’re there to learn. Sound harsh? Kinda. That’s because I’m serious. There is plenty of time for all that junk later. Just don’t worry about it now. Be smart. Don’t date.
5. Kris and Pat are two amazing men of God. Listen to what they say and know that if any criticism is being given… it’s to help you grow. They don’t know you all personally yet but I promise they love you like Jesus does.
6. Keep your apartment clean. Myself and my roommates kept our apartment clean the WHOLE time we were in Lubbock. All it takes is a little work each day… and you can do it. It’s important. You’re a big kid now.
7. Don’t eat out everyday *cough* Jacob *cough* Try to cook your own food… you’ll appreciate it later, I promise. Also, you know what’s going INTO your food… so it’s probably healthier. We’re not talkin’ TV dinners here, folks.
8. Stay in the Word. You’re going to be around people ALL-THE-TIME. It’s going to get exhausting. Spend time with the Father and spiritually nurture yourself so you can function well and be healthy. I burned out at the end of my Lubbock time and it hit me HARD… it was hard to recover from it… but I did and I learned the hard way… learn from my mistake.
9. I shouldn’t write anymore… this is too long… the last one… live in the moment! It goes by WAY too fast.

Ok Shout Outs: (they’ll be quick I promise… maybe)

Amanda Holler!-Hi punkin! I miss you! I’m so proud of you. Me and your sister are takin care of each other. Love you!

Jacob Norwood- Our love is real. Believe it. Take care of the Dulcimer for me. I miss you a bunch. We must skype when you get a chance. Thanks for being one of my best friends ever!

Matraca- Oh my goodness. I love talkin to you. You’re like much needed sunshine. Oh hey- can you give Jacob his present? Thanks! LOVE YOU!

Josie-Happy birthday! Glad I got to talk to you! Will you please give the certain article to the certain person we discussed? Thanks!

Kris- I miss you. For real. A bunch. I’m being tough!!!

Pat- te extrano mucho. Espero que estas bien. I love you, man!

Barb- Thanks for everything you do. I love you with everything I’ve got!

Lilyface!- I miss our awkward moments… and how I could talk to you about anything. I haven’t killed any fish lately.

To anyone else I left out- I’m sorry but this is already too long and I want them to read it! Write on this brown bag response sheet and I’ll write you back! I promise. You can add me on facebook. Or email me! SarahBethHall@gmail.com. I’m praying for yall and am SO proud of you. I can’t wait to see what God has planned for yall.

Walking in His Light
Sarah Beth Hall